The “Safe Driver Discount” Badge
It’s a two ton hunk of metal and flammable liquids, and you have it under control, no big deal. You are not a traffic disaster and when you do find yourself in scrape, you handle it like an adult. But this badge isn’t just for not crashing your vehicle into humans and through buildings and off of ravines, it’s for being able to handle the whole driving package. You know about oil changes, tire pumping, radiators that aren’t in homes, sparkbrakeplugs, off-road terrain, and seat warmer burn. Maybe you can tell a make and model from just the headlights, or maybe you have built a Model-T from scratch (creating the metals yourself from earth and willpower), or maybe you’re able to purchase a new automobile without mortgaging a kidney or driving away in a deathtrap. It’s Car Talk, and you speak it.
Put this badge next to your license plate, like a bumper sticker, and when that jerk who has been tailgating you squints to see it, stop short. Or keep being a safe driver! That was a test! You passed!
(Badge adapted from a suggestion from thegumbler)