Lady Scouts is, obviously, Girl Scouts for grown-ass women. Basically, it’s an institutionalized “Girls’ Night,” but for ladies who don’t say “Girls’ Night” and also who are awesome. And there are badass sashes (to come).

• Lady Scouts is for all manner of grown-ass women, youngish and oldish, married and single, gay and straight and something else, and other boxes we fit into (you get it).
• Instead of boxes of cookies, we sell boxes of wine. (When this becomes real, and not just something I say because it’s hilarious, I will let you know)
• Our song goes like this: Make new friends, but keep the old, but maybe don’t friend everyone you went to high school with on Facebook, let’s have some dignity.
• Like regular scouts, camping is important. “Camping” in this case is a metaphor for bar crawls.

Obviously, the most important part of Lady Scouts, just like Foursquare and all other superimportant institutions, is the badges. How do you get badges, you ask? GOOD QUESTION:

You get a badge for attempting online dating. You get a badge for going to work even though you have really bad period cramps. You get a badge for every person who asks how a girl like you is still single. You get a badge for wearing leopard print. You get a badge for killing roaches or fixing your sink on your own. You get a badge for sports (for some girls this is an easy badge, for others this is damn near impossible). You get a badge for drastic haircuts. You get a badge for yelling at a jerk who doesn’t call back after sleeping with you. You get a badge for breaking a date. You get a badge for changing the ratio. You get a badge for not buying clothes you don’t need. You get a badge for buying clothes you don’t need (clothes you don’t need are the best!). You get a badge for pap smears. You get a badge for karaoke. You get a badge for surviving a wedding or family reunion by yourself. You get a badge for every cat. You get a badge for every Real Housewife you can ID. You get a badge for every bachelorette party you skip. You get a badge for being told that the object of your affection sees you “as a sister.” You get a badge for listening to people’s crap and not shaking them. You get a badge for shaking them. You get a badge for being friends with an ex. You get a badge for reclaiming “Momma Grizzly.” You get a badge for being an unapologetic Rom Com watcher. You get a badge for nails. You get a badge if you can finally make “fetch” happen. You get a badge for being SO REAL.

What else do you get a badge for? Submit your story and let’s find out!

You can submit a story and a badge and a badge title, or a story with no badge or title, or a story and a badge but no title, or a story and a title but no badge, or crazy make-em-ups. To make your own badge, using our basic base, go here. Submit!